It's Monday....again. Sigh. Time for Not Me! Monday, hosted by MckMama at my charming kids. Head on over to participate!
I get so tired of trying to clean up all the crumbs that The Baby likes to make while in his highchair. This week, I absolutely did not just plop him down on the floor and let the dog eat the crumbs right off his butt. And I surely did not do it more than one time in a day. That would be unsanitary. Nope. Not me!
While celebrating the 4th up at my parents house, I certainly did not mix up the real Pina Colada pitcher with the virgin pitcher. And I most definitely did not proceed to drink 4 large margarita glasses full of the yummy concoction. That would be irresponsible for a nursing mom. Not me!
After consuming enough alcoholic Pina Coladas to get Lindsay Lohan plastered, I most assuredly did not participate in karaoke. And I absolutely did not do a fantastic rendition of Baby Got Back....complete with the dancing. That would be humiliating, especially considering the amount of video cameras present. Nope. Not me!
Later that night when I had to pump and dump so I could feed The Baby, I surely did not have to hand express milk for the first time ever when I realized that I had no breastpump available. And I really did not make mooing noises the entire time I expressed, sending the children into hysterical laughter and thereby setting myself up to be called a cow in public by one of the little cherubs at some point in the future. That would be immature. Not me!
While playing the rapid creek behind my parents house, I absolutely did not attempt to ride the innertube down the rapids resulting in two rather large holes in two very, ahem, noticeable spots in my shorts. And I definitely did not have to walk all the way back up to the house with my buttcheeks blowing in the breeze. That would be the proverbial cherry on the sundae. Not me!
I guess you can see that we had a rip roaring good time at my parents BBQ this 4th of July. I'm off to buy some new shorts....and some Neosporin cuz those rocks hurt when they hit delicate skin. Ahem.
11 People think I should be medicated:
That's why I love you Snarky Mom!!! You keep it real!!! :)
I have never had enough to drink to get me on a karaoke machine. I would have loved to have seen that! Oh and you walking home with your built in air-conditioner. I'd have like to have seen that too.
Absolutely rip roaring funny. You had better try to find and buy up all of those videos. LOL!
Peace
My little 14 yr. old 'cherub' just asked me to get her belly button pierced. 'Not her' either.
Do you have pics of said July 4th adventure? lol
My 10 month old insist on dropping more cheerios on the floor than he puts in his mouth!! It looks like a box of cheerios exploded around our table because I am refusing to clean them up....he will just drop some more at lunch today!
Love, love, love this post! needed some good visuals...thanks! :0)
I'm so LMAO right now and my co-worker is looking at me all crazy.
So sorry I missed partying with YOU...
i did not pee a wee bit while reading this- nope not me!
mooing- nice touch!
We'll be awaiting the karaoke video!!
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