Beautiful Gavin received his angel wings last night at 10:43, snuggled between his mom and dad according to his mom's twitter page. Thank you for praying for him and for his family. Please continue to do so as they deal with their grief.
Inspiring
Do you ever read the story of a family who is so inspiring that you simply do not have the words to express your emotions?
This incredible, beautiful little boy. What he has overcome in his short life. The gorgeous smile on his face through it all. He's amazing. Amazing.
I cannot even begin to describe the admiration that I feel for his parents. I cannot imagine their pain, their heartache over the past 3 years. The dedication to giving their son as full a life as he could have is just inspiring.
Please offer a prayer for little Gavin as he will be making the journey to Heaven soon. Please offer a prayer for his parents and his sister, Madison, as they will grieve a tremendous loss. And please pray that they will find comfort and peace.
Inspiring.
Heartbroken.
Show us how you live Friday: Thanksgiving Recipes
I have been so excited for this week at Kelly's Korner! Over the years we have perfected our Thanksgiving menu but new recipes to try are always a fun change. Big Daddy and I host Thanksgiving every year- for a couple of reasons. The biggest reason is because we have the most kids and therefore the most difficulty making out of town trips. The second reason is that we are smack dab in the middle of both of our parents. Mine are 2 hours away to the west and his are 2 hours away to the east. Normally we also have my sister, her gay boy bestie who is seriously the funniest person I have ever met in my life, Big Daddy's two brothers and their significant others and a random person or two that didn't have anywhere to go. This year we'll be joined by one of Big Daddy's co-workers who is new in town with nowhere to go for the holidays and an elderly neighbor who is medically unable to travel to see her family this year. It's a big crowd and we make tons of food. My sister, my mom and I split the cooking duties every year and the Mother-out-law usually brings a few things that have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Sigh...
I always make a few starters to keep the masses happy while we cook the main meal. This year for the appetizers I am making:
Cranberry-Pineapple Minis
1 can (20oz) crushed pineapple, in juice
2 pkg (3oz each) raspberry flavor jello
1 can (16oz) whole berry cranberry sauce
2/3 cups walnut pieces
1 apple, chopped
Drain pineapple, reserving juice. Add enough water to juice to measure 2 ½ cups; pour into saucepan. Bring to a boil. Pour over gelatin mixes in large bowl. Stir 2 minutes until completely dissolved. Stir in pineapple, cranberry sauce, walnuts and apple. Spoon into 24 paper lined muffin cups. Refrigerate 2 ½ hours or until firm. Remove liners. Makes 24 servings.
Pumpkin Crescent Rolls
8 oz cream cheese, softened
15 oz can pumpkin
1 can sweetened condensed milk
2 T flour
2 T cinnamon
1 t pumpkin pie spice
8 pkgs refrigerated crescent rolls
½ cup sugar
Preheat oven to 375. In mixer bowl, blend cream cheese, pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, flour and spices until combined and smooth. Unroll crescent rolls, separate and lay flat. Evenly spread 1 ½ T of pumpkin mix over dough. Roll into crescent shape and sprinkle top with sugar. Bake 11-13 minutes until golden brown.
Triple Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms
48 med. White mushrooms (about 2 lbs)
1 pkg (10oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed
4 oz feta cheese, crumbled
2 oz cream cheese, softened
½ cup finely chopped green onions
½ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Salt
Using damp paper towels, wipe mushroom caps clean; remove and discard stems. In colander, squeeze liquid out of spinach until dry. In large bowl, mix spinach, feta, cream cheese, green onions and ¼ tsp salt until well combined. Fill each mushroom with heaping teaspoon spinach mixture; top with Parmesan. Transfer to 15 x 10 jelly roll pan; bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until mushrooms are tender and filling is golden brown.
Sweet and Spicy Meatballs
1 can Rotel, untrained
1 jar (9oz) strawberry seedless jam
1 bag (16oz) frozen meatballs
Blend untrained tomatoes and jam in medium sauce pan; heat over medium heat until bubbling. Add meatballs; heat additional 10 minutes or until heated through. Place on serving platter.
Buffalo Chicken Dip
2 cans (10oz) Hormel chunk breast of chicken, drained
2 pkg (8oz) cream cheese
1 c ranch dressing
¼ cup pepper sauce
1 ½ cup cheddar cheese
Place cream cheese in shallow casserole. Microwave on 50% power until cheese is softened, 2-3 minutes. Stir in drained chicken, ranch dressing, pepper sauce and 1 cup cheese. Sprinkle top with remaining cheese. Microwave on 100% power 2-4 minutes, until hot and bubbly. Serve with crackers, tortilla chips or celery sticks.
For the main course, we try to split the meal according to the distance they have to travel to my house. I do the bulk of the side dishes but several of my dishes can be made a day ahead and heated up on turkey day. My mom does the ham and my sister does the turkey because I do all the appetizers. My mom also does the mashed potatoes, the deviled eggs, the biscuits/rolls, and the pumpkin pie. My sister does the stuffing, the collard greens and the fruit salad.
These are my recipes for my contributions to the main course:
Corn Pudding
1 can cream corn
1 can whole kernal corn
2 eggs
8oz sour cream
1 stick margarine
1 pkg cornbread mix
1 ½ cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Melt butter in casserole dish. Add cream style and whole kernal corn. Add cornbread mix and sour cream. Beat 2 eggs with fork in bowl and add to mix. Stir well. Top with cheese. Bake at 350 for 1 hour, uncovered.
Green Bean Casserole
1 can cream of mushroom soup
½ cup milk
1 t soy sauce
Dash pepper
4 cups cooked, cut green beans
1 1/3 cup French’s French Fried Onions
Mix soup, milk, soy sauce, pepper, beans and 2/3 cup onions in casserole dish. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Stir. Sprinkle with remaining onions. Bake 5 minutes.
Sweet Potato Casserole
3 cups cooked sweet potatoes, mashed
½ cup sugar
1 stick butter + 3T
1 T vanilla
2 eggs
½ cup milk
¾ cup pecans, coarsely chopped
1/3 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
½ t ground cinnamon
Melt stick of butter in casserole dish. Mix cooked sweet potatoes, sugar, vanilla, eggs and milk together until well combined. Pour evenly into casserole dish. In small bowl, combine pecans, flour, brown sugar and cinnamon. Add remaining 3T butter and rub in with fingers until mixture is evenly moistened and forms clumps. Sprinkle over sweet potato mixture. Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes or until topping is browned.
Homemade Cranberry Sauce
2 cups water
2 cups sugar
2 (12oz) packages fresh cranberries
Bring water and sugar to boil in saucepan. Add cranberries and return to boil. Reduce heat and boil gently for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Pour sauce into bowl; cover and cool.
Honey Orange Carrots
16 oz pkg peeled baby carrots
1 ½ cups orange juice
2 T honey
1 T butter
¼ t salt
Combine all ingredients in med saucepan. Bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat to maintain gentle boil. Cook, stirring occasionally until carrots are tender and liquid has reduced to a glaze, about 20 minutes.
My favorite part of the meal, by far, is dessert. My thighs don't lie people, I love my dessert. My mom makes a killer pumpkin pie from scratch but I don't have the recipe handy. We make a lot of desserts. A lot. And we never have leftovers, the vultures clean us out. I swear to you, I saw my brother in law go back for a fourth peice of pie last year.
Pecan Cheesecake Pie
½ (15oz) refrigerated pie crust
8 oz cream cheese, softened
4 large eggs, divided
¾ cup sugar, divided
2 t vanilla, divided
¼ t salt
1 ¼ cups chopped pecans
1 cup light corn syrup
Fit piecrust into 9” pie plate according to package directions. Fold edges under and crimp. Beat cream cheese, 1 egg, ½ cup sugar, 1 t vanilla and salt at medium speed until smooth. Pour cream cheese mix into piecrust, sprinkle evenly with pecans. Whisk together corn syrup, 3 eggs, ¼ cup sugar and 1 t vanilla. Pour over pecans. Place pie on baking sheet. Bake at 350 on lowest oven rack for 50-55 minutes or until pie is set. Cool 1 hour.
Steamed Pumpkin Pudding
1 T softened butter
15 oz can pumpkin purree
2 2/3 cup buttermilk
1 ¾ cups packed light brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 ½ cups flour
5 T melted unsalted butter
1 T pumpkin pie spice
1 ½ t each baking powder and baking soda
1 t salt
Heat oven to 400. Grease shallow dish with softened butter. In large bowl, whisk pumpkin puree, buttermilk, brown sugar, 4 large eggs, flour, unsalted butter, pumpkin pie spice, baking powder, baking soda and salt until well blended and smooth. Pour into prepared dish. Bake 45 minutes or until puffed. Let cool until warm. Spoon into dessert bowls and top with scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Creamy 2 step Cheesecake
1 pkg cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup sugar
8 oz cool whip, thawed
1 crust
In large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese on med speed until fluffy. Add sugar. Beat until well combined. Fold in whipped topping. Spread in crust. Refrigerate 2 hours. Top with canned cherry pie filling.
Dark Rum Pecan Pie
1 cup sugar
3 T butter, melted
2 cups pecan halves
3 large eggs, beaten
½ cup dark corn syrup
2 t dark rum
1 pie shell ( I use Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts)
Mix sugar and butter until well combined. Add pecans, eggs, corn syrup, and rum; stir until combined. Pour mixture into pie shell. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes. Reduce temp to 350 and bake 35-40 minutes longer or until filling is set around edge but center jiggles slightly. Cool completely.
Sweet Potato Pie
2 cups mashed fresh or canned sweet potatoes
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
¼ cup half and half
4 T butter, melted
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 t vanilla extract
½ t ground cinnamon
1 refrigerated pie crust (I use Pillsbury in the red box)
In bowl, with mixer on medium speed, beat sweet potatoes and cream cheese until smooth. Add sugar and half and half; beat 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves. Add butter, eggs, vanilla and cinnamon; beat until blended. Pour mixture into pie shell. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until filling is puffed and set around edges but center jiggles slightly.
That pretty much sums up our Thanksgiving day feast. For Christmas, we are much more low-key. Typically, my out-laws do not come for Christmas Day. My parents and my sister usually join us around mid-morning. A few years ago we decided that we did not want to do the traditional formal Christmas Day meal. Instead we began our own tradition of doing a Christmas brunch. My sister and I do all the cooking, it's a day for my parents (especially my mom) to just sit back, relax and enjoy her grandkids. We have 4 dishes that we make for Christmas brunch every year and they are so yummy.
Breakfast Bake
2 pkgs (16oz each) pork sausage
3 cups frozen hash brown potatoes
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup original bisquick mix
2 cups milk
¼ t pepper
4 eggs
Heat oven to 400. Grease casserole dish. Cook sausage in skillet until no longer pink; drain. Stir together sausage, potatoes and 1 ½ cup cheese in baking dish. Stir bisquick mix, milk, pepper and eggs until blended. Pour into baking dish and stir. Bake uncovered 40-45 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake 1-2 minutes until cheese melts.
Baked French Toast Casserole
1 loaf French Bread, cut into 1” slices
8 eggs
2 cups milk
1 ½ cup half and half
2 t vanilla
¼ t cinnamon
¾ c butter
1 1/3 cup brown sugar
3 T light corn syrup
Butter a 9x13 baking dish. Arrange bread in bottom. In large bowl, beat together eggs, milk, cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour over bread slices, cover and refrigerate overnight. The next morning, preheat oven to 350. In small saucepan, combine butter, brown sugar and corn syrup, heat until bubbling. Pour over bread mixture. Bake in oven, uncovered for 45-55 minutes.
Brie en Croute
1 sheet Puff Pastry ( I use Pepperidge Farm)
1 egg
1 T water
1/3 cup dried cherries, softened*
¼ cup chopped toasted pecans
¼ cup honey
1 (13.2 oz) Brie cheese round
Thaw pastry sheet at room temp 40 min or until easy to handle. Heat oven to 400. Beat egg and water in small bowl. Unfold pastry sheet on lightly floured surface. Roll sheet into a 14 in square. Stir cherries, pecans, and honey in bowl. Spread cherry mixture onto center of square. Top with cheese. Brush edges of pastry with egg mixture. Fold two opposite sides over cheese. Trim remaining two sides of square to 2 in from edge of cheese. Fold sides up onto cheese and press edges to seal. Place seam side down onto baking sheet. Brush with egg mixture. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until pastry is deep golden brown. Let stand for 45 minutes.
*Soften cherries in ½ cup hot water. Let stand for 1 minute. Drain and pat dry.
This year I am also going to make the Pioneer Woman's amazing Cinnamon Rolls. Yummy!! And they taste even better than they look if you can imagine that. I took her advice and I now give these to each of our neighbors for Christmas. I'm a very popular person on our street come Christmas time. It's all about the bribery, my friends, all about the bribery.
My sister also brings her fabulous Biscuits and Gravy but I don't have her recipe. They are scrumptous though and even my most picky child will clean their plate!
So there you go. Our Thanksgiving and Christmas menus. This is why my jeans never fit come January 1st. I think I gained 10 pounds just typing these all out.
Seriously. THE best google search ever!
I happened to glance at my recent keyword searches on my statcounter this afternoon. These are the search terms that have led people to my blog. There was one that made me laugh out loud.
You know what, I have been looking for hours to find Hatchet and you have given me horrible answers that don't even make sense, so if you enjoy making me cry keep it up but i think you are mean and....
"and" (and any subsequent words) was ignored because we limit queries to 32 words.
That is classic. And my blog was numero uno for that search.
I feel special.
Perhaps you should blow yourself
Did you see THIS article?
Man Dressed as Breathalyzer Caught Drunk Driving
A man dressed as a breathalyzer for Halloween was arrested after Oxford, Ohio police suspected him of driving drunk. James P. Miller, 20, was stopped by police who spotted him driving down the wrong side of the street without his headlights on a story by the Dayton Daily News reported. Miller told the officer he had nothing to drink that night, while he was reportedly stuffing his mouth with gum, the story said. Police reportedly also found an open beer in the middle console, a partial case of beer on the passenger side front seat and more beer in the trunk of the car. Miller was taken to the police station where his breathalyzer test showed his blood alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit.
Really?
I do believe that is the very definition of Irony.
Somebody should have told him to blow himself.
*snicker*
Step A: Open Mouth, Step B: Insert Foot
I've never been one to hold back on my thoughts. Obviously. Unfortunately, that means that sometimes a stray thought that should probably not be voiced gets through my alarmingly faulty internal sensor. Those who know me well just laugh when this happens. Those who don't know me well get their panties in a bunch. Such is life.
Yesterday I got an unexpected phone call from a member of my extended birth family. They wanted to share the good news that my cousin is pregnant. My thirteen year old cousin. Notice I said they wanted to share The Good News. Ummmmmm, yeah. Not in my world.
I was speechless for less than a moment before blurting out a loud "What the HELL?" This family member immediately took exception to my outrage and responded with a prissy "You can't stop love."
The Hell.
It was at this time that the unfortunate comment took place. Without even thinking about it, I shot back with "No but you can sure as hell stop sperm."
*crickets*
It would have been nice to know that I was on speaker phone with the entire family before this conversation took place. Sigh....The ill fated family chat ended quickly after that but I did get the gist of the situation. She's almost 7 months along, just figured it out, has had no prenatal care, doesn't know who the daddy is and oh, she's keeping it because she wants to dress it up like a little baby doll. For pity's sake, buy the girl a Baby Alive doll and call it a day.
Crap on a cracker.
These people spawned me. I sprung forth from those genetics.
I am so glad that I was adopted.
Obligatory We Survived Halloween post
I survived Halloween for another year. I barely survived last Halloween and the Universe thought it would amusing to throw an extra challenge at me this year. That challenge came in the form of my Mother-out-law. For Real. Why? Just why?
As if it's not hard enough to corral little kids into their costumes with the lofty bribes promises of massive amounts of sugary goodness if they will just FORTHELOVEOFGOD stand still for one minute to have a picture taken so I'll have something to blackmail them with later on when they turn into nasty teenagers......deep breath....
It was that kind of a day.
So the outlaws showed up en masse, 4 hours late as usual. I'm not completely sure why this happens but every single time they go anywhere, they are at least 2 hours late. It's totally ridiculous and horribly rude. I was raised to be on time, if not early. It's just basic manners in the South. But my mother-out-law is apparently physically unable to show up anywhere on time. For functions that require her to be on time, we tell her to show up 2 hours earlier than necessary and she still is usually the last one to arrive. Rude. She was late to our wedding. Nuff said.
So they showed up bearing food, which would be considered nice if not for two very important points. First, she brings food because she tells everyone that I can't or don't or won't cook, which is a total lie. Second, she puts eggs in everything, on purpose because she knows that I'm allergic. I thwarted her nefarious plans again by having a huge platter of homemade stuffed shells bubbling in the oven and some homemade cake balls cooling on the counter. My sister-in-law and my soon to be sister-in-law were quick to point out how yummy the stuffed shells were, they have my eternal gratitude. My brothers-in-law almost licked the platter clean while there were 3 containers full of my mother-out-laws food. Thwarted, I tell you. Thwarted.
After navigating the minefield of dinner, and consuming a record number of alcoholic beverages, I spent the rest of the afternoon simply trying to survive the chaos. By the way, did you know that mixing Sierra Mist Cranberry splash soda with a generous amount of Vodka results in a very tasty drink? Well, it does. Your welcome.
My sister was brave enough to spend the day with us, mostly to make sure she didn't have to pony up any cash for my bail money or help me dig a grave in the backyard. She's broke and she is not a fan of manual labor. She's the one who brought the Vodka. The big bottle.
It was finally time to trick or treat. And so began the hour long struggle to get children into their costumes, to get adults into their costumes, to get the children to listen and obey, to get the adults to listen and obey.....it was a very long hour. Finally everyone was dressed and ready to pose for the five thousand pictures that my mother-out-law felt were necessary. Here's a sample of the cuteness, please note the very sparkly, princess like tennis shoes that The Girl chose to wear with her costume:
I wish I had video taped the chaos that ensued when we tried to get everyone out the door to go trick or treating. It was unparalleled, I assure you. And of course, that bitch Mother Nature decided to dump a load of rain on us not even two minutes after we left the house. The rain sent my sister and I into uncontrollable alcohol induced fits of laughter because my Mother-out-law was dressed, ironically, as a witch. I couldn't stop myself from pointing at her while wheezing out "She's melting, she's melting" as my mother-out-law ran shrieking for an umbrella.
That was the highlight.
We all survived. Barely. Today I have to go grocery shopping to replenish the massive amounts of food that these people consumed and then I get to try and steam clean the beer stains out of the carpet. Don't ask, just don't ask.
The last thing my Mother-out-law said as she left was that we'd have to make this an annual tradition. An annual tradition. Annual. That means every single year.
There is not enough Vodka in the whole universe.
Show Us How You Live Friday: Halloween costumes
It's Friday. Time for Kelly's Weekly Tour! Head on over to Kelly's Korner to add your own or to check out tons of other posts. It's time to break out the Halloween costume photos. Designed to make every preteen boy cringe in horror and humiliation. Swee-eeet!
2003: Boy1 was Scooby Doo and Boy2 was a giraffe. Scooby's head was so big that poor Boy1 kept falling over and Boy2 fell asleep in his stroller and missed the whole trick or treating event.
2004: Boy1 was a cowboy with a horse and Boy2 was a bumblebee. This was just a couple of weeks before The Girl was born and I felt as shell shocked as poor Boy2 looks!
2005: Boy1 was Batman. Boy2 was Robin and The Girl was a butterfly Fairy. Big Daddy really wanted The Girl to be Wonder Woman but he lost the coin toss. And yes I did cheat. I didn't wait 4 years for a girl just to dress her up as a superhero when she could be decked out in pink tulle and rainbow wings!
2006: Boy1 was a Power Ranger. Boy2 was an octopus and The girl was Raggedy Ann.
2007: Boy1 was Darth Vader. Boy2 was a chicken and The Girl was a witch.
2008: Boy1 was Anakin Skywalker. Boy2 was a bat. The Girl was a cat and The Baby was a skunk. A very mad skunk.
This year, Boy2 is up at my mom's house. He did not want to come trick or treating with us, he wanted to attend a little party at one his friends homes near my mom's house. So there won't be a picture of all 4 of them together on Halloween. I'm a little sad about that but life goes on.
Boy1 is going to be a vampire. The Girl is going to be a princess and The Toddler (formally The Baby) is going to be a monkey. Here is my little monkey in a pre-Halloween try on costume session. I've even taught him how to make the classic OOH-OOH-AAH-AAH monkey noises. So damn cute.
Hair Trauma
It sure feels like Fall in our house. You know how? Hair trauma. I've talked before about the changing of the seasons and how beauty goes wrong during the changing of said seasons. I know this. I've lived it. And yet I continue to perpetuate the horror. What is wrong with me? I swear I'm not usually a slow learner.
But alas, yesterday I found myself with scissors in hand chopping off random pieces of freshly and tragically colored hair. While drinking a glass of wine. A large glass of wine. Very large glass. Full to the top. Don't judge me.
I never used to do this. Before children, I went to my hair stylist religiously. Every 6 weeks I had a trim, every 3 months I got a color and highlight. Like clockwork. I loved my stylist. I found her when I was a mere babe of 19 and fell in love with her spunk and her style. I was totally monogamous to her.
I am not a Hair Whore.
Even when we moved several hours away, I would make the trip to keep seeing my beloved hair stylist. Until she went on maternity leave. And never came back. I shed tears, I will not lie. The relationship between a hair stylist and client is special. When a woman finds a hair stylist soulmate, it's like hitting oil in the backyard. Thou shall not mess with that relationship. It should be a commandment. So she left to raise her kid, who I call Spawn because that kid has led to the ruin of my hair, and I was left to find a new hair stylist. I'm far too old to be auditioning hair stylists. I no longer have the patience or understanding when they inevitably screw up my hair. I can not suck it up and smile, telling them it's okay. Comforting them for their mistake when I'm the one who has to leave the salon looking like Dorothy Hamill. Nope. Nowadays I'm more likely to run them over with my car. And then back up and run them over again just for pure sport.
Moving on.
I've tried, people. I've really tried to move on. To find a new stylist. I just cannot do it. The first one totally disregarded my instructions and hacked off more than 6 inches of hair. She claimed it was all dead. The hell. As if I would walk around with 6 inches of dead hair hanging off my head like a mullet. Bitch.
The second one had the misfortune of dealing with me during a particularly bad postpartum week. And let me just say that no woman should be allowed to make life altering decisions, such as those concerning her hair, while she is in the middle of postpartum hell. It is a recipe for disaster. Or homicide. I can't recall all the particulars of that day in the salon but I do know that it ended with her crying, covered in breastmilk and me in hysterics, also covered in breastmilk and missing a chunk of hair on one side. I know that I was covered in breastmilk because my hooties were leaking like rusty plumbing. I'm just not sure why she was covered in breastmilk. It may have had something to do with the empty bottle I was carrying in one hand. Perhaps.
The third and final attempt came late last year, right before our annual professional family portraits. It was not good timing, I know that. I accept partial responsibility for the added pressure that may have been placed upon the stylist but I am in no way responsible for the end result. In what language does the phrase "please just trim an inch off the bottom and add a few layers to the back" become translated into "cut it all off, shave me bald. Make me into Sinead O'Connor"? It all started with a slip of the scissors and ended in tragedy.
So you'll have to excuse me if I am a little stylist shy at this point. I haven't been back to one since that unfortunate experience. That, my friends, is the backstory on what led me to be standing in my bathroom holding that very large glass of wine yesterday. Cursing at the injustice of it all. While staring at my unevenly chopped, newly colored hair. I was going for a bob cut. What I got was somewhat reminiscent of my Seventh grade yearbook photo. It was scary back then. It's horrifying now. Thankfully, my sister is a whiz with the scissors and came over to help me. Her scream of terror was not comforting and she has banned me from ever using a pair of scissors again. Ever. She evened me out except for that one missing patch that we won't talk about and then added some low lights to fix the coloring disaster. The box said Iced Mocha Brown.
The box was wrong.
It looked like crayola threw up on my head. Not a good look. Especially when paired with the self hatchet job hair cut.
I so wish I could tell you that I woke up this morning and it was all a nightmare. Unfortunately, I woke up today and scared the shit out of myself when I walked past the mirror.
It was not a good morning.
The Snarky Family does the Fall Festival
Every year our neighborhood has a fall festival at our clubhouse. It's entirely free and they pay for it out of our yearly homeowners dues. The kids look forward to it every year and it's a great chance for the adults to catch up with neighbors.
Here is our Fall Festival Fun. Enjoy.
I just can't believe how much my kids have grown and changed. Here they are last year at the fall festival:
They look like babies. Enjoy every moment because it just goes so fast. We're gearing up for a week full of Halloween fun. Fall parties at school, trick or treating this weekend and my inlaws have decided to converge upon us en masse this weekend. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm looking forward to entertaining them while they bitch and moan as they tag along while the kids trick or treat. Really. It ranks somewhere up there with a root canal. With no drugs. Done with a dull spoon and an ice pick.
Really. I'm looking forward to it that much.
I Gotz Tagged
I got tagged by Orions Mom. Now you get to learn more about ME. Cuz it's all about ME. It's always all about ME! Get used to it.
A - Age: Not a day over 25. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
B - Bed size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: Cleaning the kids bathroom. *shudder*
D - Dog's name: Depends on what he's doing. Either Bailey or DAMNIT!
E - Essential start your day item: Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
F - Favorite color: Red.
G - Gold or Silver: White Gold
H - Height: 5'5
I - I am: always exhausted
J - Job: Domestic Engineer
K - Kids: Yep. Got them. 4 if you don't count Big Daddy.
L - Living arrangements: Well, I'm living.....
M - Mom's name: Mom.
N - Nicknames: Depends on who you ask!
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Several
P - Pet Peeve: Stupid people who are free to walk around with the rest of us.
Q - Quote from a movie: Toss up between "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" and "He is a boil on the butt of humanity!" Both from Steel Magnolia's, of course.
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings: Yep. Got them. Sister and 3 brothers.
T - Time you wake up: 6am on weekdays.
U- Underwear: Yep. Wear them.
V - Vegetable you dislike: Brussel Sprouts
W - Ways you run late: I blame Big Daddy, it's always his fault.
X - X-rays you've had: foot, ankle, tib/fib, knee, ribs, arm, collarbone, facial....I played soccer for amost 2 decades. Lots of X-rays. Pretty sure I'm radioactive at this point.
Y - Yummy food you make: Cake Balls, Pumpkin Bread, Tirimasu.....yummmmmm
Z - Zoo favorite: Giraffe's
Moobies- An Invention by Big Daddy
Moobies.
Big Daddy is a genius. He has a new invention that should be a huge hit with the male species. We were talking last night about how nice it is that The Baby is sleeping mostly through the night and on the occasions that he does wake up, he lets Big Daddy put him back to bed. Up until very recently, only mommy would do. I'm assuming it was the whole extended breastfeeding thing that cemented his need for mommy to put him back to sleep. Plus he would never take a bottle, ever. So Big Daddy had a thought.
He wants to invent a silicone-ish breast for a man to wear. It would hold pumped breastmilk and have a nipple that simulates a real nipple. Then the dad could take turns getting up in the middle of the night to "breastfeed" the baby.
He was very excited by his marketing genius. I was busy giggling at the thought of a man wearing a boob and nursing a baby in the middle of the night. Can you see a man getting up, latching a baby on his fake boob and "nursing" for 20 minutes when they can barely manage to stumble into the bathroom and aim for the toilet in the middle of the night?
He was talking about selling them as a set and calling them Moobies.
I asked him why he would sell them as a set. It's not like the man is going to get engorged if he doesn't nurse on both sides. Right? He looked at me, bewildered and replied
You can't sell just one, then he'd be lopsided and it wouldn't look right.
For Real.
I almost fell out of the bed from laughing so hard. Because really, what's more natural and right looking than a man with a plastic fake boob filled with breastmilk nursing a baby?
Snort.
*Big Daddy is totally patenting this idea, so don't think about stealing it.
Here Piggy Piggy
The Swine Flu. Sigh.
We have not been struck down by the dreaded pig flu yet but it's only a matter of time, I'm afraid. There are 16 confirmed cases in Boy1's school and 3 of those snotty nosed kids live in our neighborhood on our street. The H1N1 vaccine is not available here right now and even if it was, we would not be getting it. I know many parents are in a panic, rushing out to vaccinate their kids from the swine flu but we decided against the vaccine for several reasons. The biggest reason being that it is largely untested, we don't have enough information about the side effects- long or short term-and it's effectiveness is totally unproven. I'd prefer my kids not to be guinea pigs, thankyouverymuch. But the kicker for me was when our beloved pediatrician confided privately that his children will not be receiving the swine flu shot either. I trust this man. I trust him with the health of my children, my babies, my whole world. I've trusted him for almost 9 years now and he has never failed me, why would I start doubting him now?
Shortly after my conversation - with him, we had dinner with some friends of ours from out of town. The husband is a pharmaceutical chemist or something like that. He works in the development of drugs and new vaccines. He explained his job in detail but honestly, he has this huge mole over one of his eyebrows and when he talks- it moves. I couldn't stop staring at it and the conversation kind of faded into the background as I watched his mole dancing across his forehead. At one point, I swear it pointed at me. *shudder*
Anyway. He was adamant that his family was not receiving the swine flu vaccine either. He had quite a few reasons and he attempted to explain them all but again, the mole was hard to ignore. Basically, he was concerned by the lack of testing, the absence of culpability of the pharmaceutical companies and the fact that they don't really know if the vaccine will even work. That sealed it for us, we will not be getting the swine flu shot.
We have been taking precautions. Hand washing, using sanitizer, eating healthy, avoiding public places as much as possible....whatever we can do to minimize the risk. We're not going to any indoor playgrounds, The Girl is not in preschool right now and we're totally avoiding Walmart. I figure it's overwhelming odds that if we go to Walmart, we're coming home with Swine Flu. I mean, honestly, have you seen some of those people?
I sent The Boy to school last week with a small, travel size, bottle of hand sanitizer in his bookbag. His teacher, who shall be the topic of a post coming soon, sent my back and empty bottle with a note attached that said:
Hand Sanitizer is not allowed on school property.
That's it. That's all the note said. It was taped to the empty bottle of hand sanitizer. The Boy said that he took it out of his bookbag after music class and his teacher saw it and made him squeeze it all out in the sink and wash the bottle out. He had to do this during recess. He had to miss recess to empty and wash a small bottle of hand sanitizer out. For Real. I was perturbed. I sent her back a note, attached with superglue to the supersize bottle of hand sanitizer that I attached to his bookbag with a metal clip. The note read:
If Hand Sanitizer is not allowed on school property, please explain why you requested 6 bottles of it on your back to school supply list. If you force my son to miss recess to dispose of his hand sanitizer again, I am coming down there. Thank you.
So far, that bottle of hand sanitizer is still full and still attached to Boy1's bookbag. Of course, now his bookbag weighs 20 pounds but hey- he doesn't have the swine flu.
Sigh.
Gotz Awards?
I was generously bestowed an award awhile ago but I'm lazy and I'm just now posting about it by Foursons. This just confirms my delusions suspicions that I am awesome. Totally.
And like all great honors, this one comes with rules. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
Now I have to choose 15 newly discovered blogs. Hmmmm, I haven't had a lot of time to spend surfing new blogs lately so I had to go check out my Google Reader to see what new ones are on there. It's hard being awesome lazy.
These are some blogs that I have discovered and enjoyed reading over the past few months or so, it's not 15 but I ran out of time:
Thrifty Decor ChickThe R House
Case Study of Life
The Other Mama
Fosterhood in NYC
The Sweeny Seven
Crystal from It's Love was so nice to give me the Kreativ Blogger award even though my blogging has been less than inspired here lately. Thank you Crystal!
Here are the rules:
Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
Name seven things about yourself that people may not know.
Nominate seven Kreativ Bloggers.
Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.
Hmmmm, seven things that you people may not know....
1. I have a totally unhealthy fear of bobble heads. Don't judge me.
2. I am addicted to Sweet Tea, the sweeter the better. It's a southern thing.
3. I had an imaginary friend named Fred for years and was pissed when the movie Drop Dead Fred came out cuz my Fred wasn't as fun as her Fred.
4. I battle with PPD/Clinical Depression every day of my life.
5. My 20 month old still doesn't sleep through the night because I can't stand to hear him cry at night.
6. I firmly believe that chocolate should be one of the food groups.
7. I have an unnatural fear of dying young.
Now I have to nominate 7 blogs that are deserving of this award.
Where's the Party
AdvocateMom from The Accidental Advocate nominated me for this last award. Thank you AdvocateMom. I am over the top but ssshhhhh...don't tell.
Answer the survey below…you can only use one word answers~
Pass this along to your favorite bloggers~Alert them that you have given them this award~
Where is your cell phone? lost
Your hair? wet
Your mother? worrier
Your father? nuts
Your dream last night? none
Your favorite drink? sweetea
Your dream/goal? organization
What room are you in? familyroom
Your hobby? reading
Your Fear? bobbleheads....don't judge me.
Where do you want to be in 6 years? beach
Where were you last night? home
Something that you aren’t? rich
Muffins? yummy
Wish list item? Hummer
Where did you grow up? big city
What are you wearing? pajamas
Your TV? Dr.Phil
Your pets? dog
Friends? many
Your life? unpredicable
Your mood? sick
Missing someone? no
Vehicle? minivan
Something you’re not wearing? makeup
Your favorite store? Banana Republic
Your favorite color? red
When was the last time you laughed? today
Last time you cried? weeks
One place that I go to over and over? Target
One person who emails me regularly? mom
Favorite place to eat? Yoshi's
I'll choose bloggers who(m?) inspire
I'm tired. I'll be adding new blogs to the blog roll this weeks so consider all of them nominated. Remember, I'm lazy. Deal with it.
There once was a boy named Owen Part Three
[Cast of Characters in Owen's story: Skye (2 month old emergency foster placement), Renee (Skye's biological mom), Satan (Owen and Skye's case worker), The Bitch (supervisor of placement and licensing division at CPS), Wimpy (our licensing worker), The Pawn (Satan's new supervisor), The Idiot (Renee's at home worker), Betty (Owen's useless GAL)]
Read Part One HERE.
Read Part Two HERE.
After we refused to attend the ambush meeting that was demanded by The Bitch, things went from tense to downright hostile. I no longer trusted The Idiot and I refused any and all contact with her. She was no longer permitted on my property, she was no longer allowed access to Skye in my home and I was no longer willing to speak to her on the phone. Amazingly, she didn't understand why I cut off all contact with her. Really? On top of all that nonsense, I was dealing with the stupidity of Wimpy. She just could not understand why I would not want to attend an ambush disguised as a meeting. She kept telling me that I should be grateful for the opportunity to defend myself. Defend myself! She got told in no uncertain terms that I had no reason to need to defend myself. This isn't high school and I'm not being sent to the Principal's office like a naughty teen. Proof that power does indeed corrupt. The Bitch was a lowly placement worker when we first started our fostering career and was newly promoted to unit supervisor. She was having a lot of fun flexing her proverbial muscle, we were not the only foster parents feeling the crush of her iron fist.
The Idiot started making life as difficult as possible for us. All of a sudden she began reporting back to Satan that Skye was showing up to her visits dirty, with no formula or with terrible diaper rashes. None of that was true and Renee failed to substantiate the at-home worker's claims when she was approached by Satan. I began to get more and more apprehensive about The Idiot. It didn't make sense, she was too personally involved and it was clouding her judgement of the case. She started pushing for unsupervised visits even though Renee was nowhere near ready for them. She started completing parts of Renee's case plan for her- she rented Renee's apartment, she furnished it for her, she started picking Renee up and transporting her to every single appointment.....basically The Idiot was working the case plan, not Renee. It got very uncomfortable and we got tired of being thrown into the fire time and time again.
It got to the point after 4 months of Skye being in our home that we had to ask that she be transitioned to another foster home. The drama was sucking the very life out of me. I spent at least an hour of every day dealing with she said/she lied shit that had nothing to do with the case. It was affecting my job, it was affecting my family and it was affecting my ability to be an advocate for Skye. Satan was pissed. Not just pissed but P-I-S-S-E-D! She accused me of being vindictive and flat out told Wimpy and The Bitch that I wanted Skye moved because Renee was doing so well and Skye was not going to be available for adoption. We had never, not one time, even hinted that we wanted to adopt Skye. There were many family members willing to step up and take Skye for the long term if Renee could not complete her case plan, so adoption was never an option as far as we were concerned. It took about a week for them to find a new home for Skye. They found a stay home mom with no other placements who had a legal background. I knew her, she was in a MAPP class that I taught. I felt confident that Skye was going to thrive in her home and hopeful that the foster mom's legal background would keep the shenanigans to a minimum. We were terribly sad on the day that we moved Skye. I felt like a failure and a horrible person but it was necessary. Skye was only the second child that we ever had removed from our home and I'm still angry that other people made it necessary to disrupt a 6 month old baby.
I hoped that things would improve once the drama with The Idiot was out of our lives. I was wrong. I was so so wrong.
To be continued...
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